Contrary to popular belief and to what everyone has been
telling you all your life, God is not a man; God is a woman. Here’s the proof:
--She’s moody, extremely moody! In one book she’s vengeful,
in another she’s loving, in another she’s judgmental, in another she’s fearful
etcetera etcetera etcetera
--She’s always watching you and judges everything you do
--She is always right
--She never forgets anything you do
--She’s jealous, she never lets you worship other gods but
her and almost all of her decision-making staff are men who wear dresses and
discriminate against women
--She’s subtle and mysterious; millions of books have been
written about her trying to interpret her words and still no one understands
what she’s all about, not even women!
--She’s insecure and keeps testing your love for her by
coming up with illogical rules like “you can’t eat apples” for example
--She wants the weekend all to herself
--She wants to know what you’re thinking all the time
--She always needs money
--She always needs praise
--And finally, she never has anything to wear!
