Do you ever find yourself looking at your mirror not
knowing who that person staring back at you is? In this modern world that’s controlled
by mainstream media and dominated by corporations, news, as useless as it might
be, is being relayed at an unprecedented rate and information is updated ever
so quickly.
Between your Facebook friend’s ugly newborn’s one thousand pictures, your Twitter follower’s mitten-wearing cat, and your Instagram I don’t know what you call it’s plate of red beans, it is absolutely normal for you to have a panic attack. I mean, what trend must you follow?!
But do not be afraid! Little Stain is here to guide you! Below is a list of 13 signs of you quite possibly being a hipster:
Between your Facebook friend’s ugly newborn’s one thousand pictures, your Twitter follower’s mitten-wearing cat, and your Instagram I don’t know what you call it’s plate of red beans, it is absolutely normal for you to have a panic attack. I mean, what trend must you follow?!
But do not be afraid! Little Stain is here to guide you! Below is a list of 13 signs of you quite possibly being a hipster:
--You don’t identify yourself as being a hipster; in
fact you think hipsters are too mainstream
--You say things like “Is this Gummy Bear organic?” and
“I’d rather have someone buy me a book instead of a drink” then sip your wine
--You have a self-diagnosed allergy to Gluten that you
don’t fail to mention every time you get the chance in a conversation and if
you don’t get the chance to do so you grab your organic iPhone and tweet about
how you’re surrounded by ignorant Gluten-consuming brainwashed earthlings that
can’t tell the difference between Quinoa and Couscous
--You never go shopping for clothes in shopping malls
and all your sweaters were knitted by your grandmother
--You don’t eat Nutella, you eat Fair Trade Guatemalan cocoa
spread
--You’re no longer content with wearing vintage, but
brand eyeglasses, you now walk around with a windshield on your face
--You don’t use an alarm clock to wake up in the
morning; you keep a rooster in your bedroom
--You don’t think it’s good music if it’s not classical
Baroque digitally mastered by a local bathtub farmer who of course you knew
before he became a band
--You only eat vegetables that weren't tested on
animals
--You’re not into blockbusters; you only go to
alternative “movie-screening houses” to watch foreign movies directed by people
whose last names are composed of at least 7 consonants in a row that only you
and your friends can pronounce because you’ve spent the last 8 weeks in front
of your mirrors practicing it
--You never use brand deodorant, but instead you roll
around naked every morning in the flowers you planted in your window sill garden
--You’re no longer growing a beard; the beard is now
growing you
--You never use a digital camera to share the ephemeral;
you take pictures with your analog LOMO - a redundancy I know – then you
develop these pictures in your dark room, then scan them, and upload them to
Instagram. Hashtag No Filter of course!
